That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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