I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Found the puke drawer
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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