I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
