dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
