Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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