Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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