it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
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