True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
