We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
