ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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