she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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