i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
