I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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