is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
