sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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