i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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