we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
