she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
