Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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