this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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