Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Are we still banned from the library?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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