lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
