I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
