it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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