Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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