Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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