He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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