jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
not ubering you a puppy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
