Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
