no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
