i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
