we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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