my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
