Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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