Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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