you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
