no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
