oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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