So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
