I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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