sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
