she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
