I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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