tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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