i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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