At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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