dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
