Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
