dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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