Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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