That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
