yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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